What are some Back in Soviet Russia jokes?

Question by Ennis: Back in Soviet Russia jokes please!?
I just want some “Back in Soviet Russia” jokes.
Back in Soviet Russia, there was no such thing as a bathroom. We had a hole in the ground
Back in Soviet Russia, we had no toilet paper. It was called “wipe with your hands”
Back in Soviet Russia, there was no such thing as strategy. Just run in with an AK-47 and mutilate their faces off.
Back in Soviet Russia, you don’t go to prison, you get executed.
Back in Soviet Russia, nobody has ever heard of lighters–only flamethrowers.
Back in Soviet Russia, we have no tap water, but we have tap vodka.
Back in Soviet Russia, there is no leader of such, but it is every man for himself.
Back in Soviet Russia, when we do something illegal–oh, hell! Nothing is illegal in Soviet Russia!
Back in Soviet Russia, there is no such thing as sex. Women falls on top of man, and BAM! You’re no longer a virgin.
Back in Soviet Russia, there is no such thing as homicide–only genocide.
Back in Soviet Russia, we have no rules. It is a dirty free-for-all.
Back in Soviet Russia, there is no other side, because you never make it to the other side.
Back in Soviet Russia, there is no end of the line, because you get killed before you make it tehre.

Answers and Views:

Answer by V.O.R.
Lame! Go back to Africa.

Answer by aytwar
just looked through your jokes ( not really funny iam afraid )

i run this free jokes web site,
http://www.myfreejokes.co.uk

the only reason i started this web site is to cheer people up in these bad times.
all the jokes are free and you can use any joke you like from my site.
just be warned some of the free jokes are a bit adult but there are 1000s of other normal jokes also.

go have a look, there are 1000s of free jokes and i think you will find all are better than your russia jokes, but that just might be me being bias as it is my webiste
http://www.myfreejokes.co.uk

Answer by Steve B
What you want is called the Russian Reversal where things are opposite in Russia. It was originally a hallmark of 80’s comedian Yakov Smirnoff’s act. The true nature of the joke hinted at the clandestine dealings of the KGB.

A few examples are: In America, you can always find a party.
In Soviet Russia, Party always find you!

In America, you watch television.
In Soviet Russia, television watches you!

In America, you break law.
In Soviet Russia, law break you!

In America, you listen to radio
In Soviet Russia, radio listen to you!

In America, your job determines your marks.
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job!

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