Question by eternity: why do russian kids seem to have the most trouble adjusting to adoptions?
I have heard that of all the countries that children are adopted from into the US, russian adoptees seem to have the most trouble adjusting. i have heard that most disrupted adoptions are of russian kids and this makes me sad 🙁 dont take it the wrong way, this is just something i have heard. do you know why this may be so? thank you
Answers and Views:
Answer by AmberLynn
Because the 9 year old girl you adopted from a questionable orphanage is actually a 33 year old Russian serial killer with dwarfism who wants your husband
…. I Joke I joke.. I kid kid.
I have not heard that statistic though. Interesting. Im gonna look into it.
*Edit – I agree with Melyssa
Give your answer to this question below!
Melissa says
You just posted last week that you were adopted from Russia. So now it seems like you were not. Glad to know lots of people wasted there time answering your question. But you know thats not a funny thing to joke about.
snarkasaurus is a ba says
Well, besides all of the previous comments about fetal alcohol and poor orphanages, one reason I could see, at least from my personal experience, is that most of the Russian adoptees I've met have been adopted at older ages, increasing the difficulties of adjustment and bad prior experiences.
Doodlestuff says
It's become somewhat clear that Russia is limiting adoptions to children who require extensive resources, which they don't have. Even if the kids lack the identifying features of FAS, most of the kids coming from Russia to this country have alcohol related damage. In addition, there tends to be little, if any, loving interaction with these kids.
Tara says
I've never heard anything like that. Its hard for ANY international child to adjust. Russian kids are no different. Russian orphanages may not be all that great compared to the "luxury" homes in the US. (NOT!) – but there are countries that are FAR FAR FAR worst. India for one. Viet Nam, most ANY in Africa, and central America. Why pick on Russians? Dos ve danya.
Translation USA says
Dear Friend:
If a family decides to adopt a child, they shall realize that the child is not a dog or a piece of furniture. If a child has problems in adopting family, it is totally that family's fault. Regardless of where you adopt the child from, you have to take entire responsibility and make sure that the child feels comfortable in your family, that the child receives parental love and understanding.
However, unfortunately some US families, that adopt children from Russia, when the first problems appear they decide to give up. Russian Department of Foreign Affairs has implemented more stringent requirements to foreign families that plan to adopt children in Russian; make a research and you will realize what this was caused by.
Please, bear in mind. From the moment you decide to adopt a child – you are responsible for him/her. You may not leave, beat, murder, or harass your adoptive child only because he/she has troubles understanding a foreign language, American culture, and new environment.
Sit with your child, dedicate an unlimited time and love to the child's education until the question of adjusting will not be even remembered.
Once again, you – the family that plans to adopt children, think twice if you are really ready to this God's blessing of having children.
Midnight Colours says
Plain and simple- The orphanages SUCK.
Luckily, my parents yanked me out of that place as a baby.
Teresa says
Russia has a very high rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Children adopted from Russia come from orphanages, not foster homes so they do not know how a family operates. Things like eating together at a dinner table or telling an adult that you had a bathroom accident must be taught, even to older children. These children often have PTSD and RAD, making it difficult for them to form secure attachments. These children must be parented very intentionally, and the parent must be very proactive getting proper medical diagnosis for the child immediately after adoption.
Also, many Americans adopt from Russia because they want children who look like them. They think since the child is white there won't be any need to integrate a new culture into the family. they may even hide the adoption from others, trying to pass the child off as biological. It seems easier than adopting a child of color. This is a HUGE dis service to the child. A russian child who looks just like me is as different and special as a child from Ethiopia who is obviously adopted. The child needs to be surrounded by people of their own heritage. They need to know that their adoptive family acknowledges and respects their culture. Parents need to realize that adoption is for the child. You need to be that person who understands tis child and loves unconditionally. Then parent and child faces the world together. It's not about the comfort of the parent, it's about security for the child.
When parents realize that their child has special needs, or can not easily attach, or the child refuses to call them mom and dad (blowing the bio-kid lie), or the child rebels and does not adjust to American culture/US school system/family's religion they disrupt placement. There needs to be more pre-adoption education for parents and a realistic expectations for an institutionalized child who is learning to live in a family
Rolly Horror Picture says
Well, Melyssa pretty much answered your question, so I won't re-type all the same information, but… Russian orphanages are seriously disgusting, the kids are neglected, they receive the least amount of care possible, they're given bottles and left alone to feed themselves and cry themselves to sleep, they sit in dirty diapers for absurdly long intervals of time, there are a lot of kids and not nearly enough people working / taking care of them, the buildings are dingy/musty/dank…it's about where they start off, not necessarily where they end up.
My oldest was adopted from Russia at the age of 1, and of the few teeth he'd grown, we had to have two pulled out because they were rotting out of his head…at a year old. I know the difficulties he faced with adjusting, and I just can't imagine what it would be like for an older child…new family, new country, new language, new life. And yeah, the mothers of these children are generally drunks or junkies during their pregnancies…that affects kids psychologically in ways that often can't be detected until later on.
Maritsa S says
i have a reverse question
why are american parents so cruel to their adopted children?
Cause over the past 15 years there have been only 1 well-known case of Russian adopted child mistreated outside the US (I don't exactly remember where, I guess it was Dominicana), and more than 15 cases of Russian kids KILLED by their American parents, some of them were under 2 years.
Don't get me wrong, but maybe it's not about kids, but about parents…
:) says
amberlyn, lol…That was a good movie!
OP, I've wondered the same thing.I've heard of a few russian adoptees who were a bit on the psychotic side.BUT, I've heard of wonderful stories as well.
I think alot of the kid and babies are neglected (don't mark my words though) in the orphanages, but that's other places too.I knew a Russian adoptee, adopted at 2, who was happy with her family and life.I guess it just depends on the situation.
wolfcat87 says
I've seen documentaries of eastern european and russian orphanages and a very common theme is the workers not wanting to treat one child more kindly than another to be fair so none get adequate care or attention and many are tied to things and ignored. A baby needs to bond and if they don't they can pass the stage for developing empathy through bonding. (Basically you love someone so you want to make them happy, and if you never learn to love during that crucial period there is nothing to make you want to behave, love, or do anything normal in the future). This can create sociopaths and serial killers. As children, they can be out of control or downright dangerous. I do believe in the U.S. it is illegal to classify anyone under 18 as a sociopath for fear of how they'll be treated in the future. This makes it even harder to see stats for this. Also, sociopaths are harder to read and recognize because they don't give the same cues as anyone else so you may not know you've adopted one until they actually try to kill you or a family member. It's not just russian kids but due to how their system is run there are more sociopaths developed by their system.
Melyssa says
because the way they have been housed before they come into adoptive parents is just really sad and traumatizing for the kid. they are like big kid warehouses with no human contact or love and the kids grow up kinda warped up in there because of that and when they do get put into a home with loving parents, some just dont know how to deal with it.. its really sad and I feel bad for the kids but its the russian system that has to change
edit I just want to add that I've also heard that many of the babies born there are born for heavy drinkers or crackheads.. a lot larger number than in other countries so the kids might have some issues because of that too.. also they most likey havent seen dr in years and even if they would have been diagnosed with something, they propably wouldnt disclose it so they can just ' get rid of' the kid and send him to unsuspecting family.
I dont think any orphanage is a good place for a kid to grow up but seems like russian ones are one of the worst. Plus they freely adopt kids to other countries where many countries dont so the issues of their kids are more well known than like some remote african countries kids raised in a maybe similar orphanage, but htey dont adopt the kids out so no one knows